I have just arrived back from Malaysia where I had gone with my son who was going to university . Whilst there, after seven weeks he decided it was not for him. The conclusion being, as he is a mature student, ‘I am too far behind and too far in front’. Since arriving back I have thought a great deal about children and my role as parent. After praying to God as to how to deal with it all an email landed in my box, from Ester and Jerry Hicks ...
Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can't do anything about. And you can't do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else's vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them. And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being up close to them.--- Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in Ashland, OR on Saturday, July 19th, 2003 # 175
And so I had guidance.
Hooponopono has helped a great deal as well and I have come to the realisation I don’t really know what my children have come to live and/or experience in this lifetime and that many times my children have been, in particular this son, my teacher. It is not easy to appreciate their existence and what they've come to give you without continually trying to control and plan for them but I am working on it daily.
I realise there are some truths that can help this . The first one is to Let go let God, in fact surrendering them to God. Hooponopono helps and every time you say "I forgive you " or "I love you" instead of reacting, trying to control, and worrying, I am giving my children to God to guide them and protect them. The second is that It is my job to clear my vibrations and find peace within me as this translates all around me. I have learnt that much of my son’s frustration stems from the fact that his parents were not completely living their truth and as this changed the frustration left. This was an unconscious process and it was hard to perceive it whilst I was living it but as things changed and I began to follow my truth and become more and more authentic and clear myself I saw this.. I realised my job as a parent was to clear myself and find peace in myself and that when I did this it helped him.
So it seems when we are okay, our children are okay. It is not the other way around. They are waiting for us to get it!
On ChildrenKahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
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